Bizarro Movie Night with Tony Kay!

Deep Red: Bizarro Movie Night Salutes Italian Horror Cinema this Saturday!

2012-01-06T00:21:00.000-08:00

This week's Bizarro Movie Night presentation at the Aster Coffee is boldly breaking Bizarro Movie Night tradition, with a screening of...

A good movie.

Yes, you read right; a good movie. Rest assured, though, it'll still be certifiably Bizarro.

Some of the finest, strangest, most vividly colorful, and most feverishly imaginative horror films ever made sprang forth from Italy in the last half of the twentieth century. And the most important creative figure in that country's genre output was Mario Bava.

Bava paid his dues as a special effects man and assistant director on several Italian action films and dramas throughout the 1950's. Then in 1960 he made his directorial debut with Black Sunday, an atmospheric black-and-white chiller that marked the first leading role for Barbara Steele, a raven-haired British actress whose large, expressive eyes and alien beauty made her a horror movie icon for the ages.

Three years later, Bava made Black Sabbath, a horror movie anthology in which his penchant for eye-popping primary colors and heady atmosphere came into full flower. Without really trying, Black Sabbath established several templates for the horror genre over the next two decades. It gave birth to a distinctive sub-genre known as the giallo, and bridged the gap between the elegant subtlety of the old-school Universal monster movies and the more violent and psycho-sexual content of modern horror cinema.

Throughout the 1960's, '70's, and '80's, Italian directors such as Dario Argento, Antonio Margheriti, and Lucio Fulci further pushed the boundaries of the horror film. And the ripple effects of Mario Bava's influence echo today through more extreme thrillers like Jonathan Demme's Silence of the Lambs, and within the untethered color palate of director Tim Burton (himself such an enormous Bava fan that he toyed for years with remaking Bava's Black Sunday).

We're planning on screening Black Sabbath at the Aster on Saturday. In addition to being a terrific, gloriously creepy film on its own, it's also an important milestone in the cinema of the fantastic. And with Your Schlockologist Truly on hand to introduce this masterwork, you're nuts to miss it!

The Fat Man Lands at the Aster TONIGHT!!

2011-12-17T13:21:00.000-08:00

Hola, Fiends and Neighbors!

Yep, you read right: The Fat Man himself--Santa Claus--lands at the Aster tonight! And he's bringing a few pals...

Merlin the Magician!

The Sweaty Red-Bearded Keymaker Ogre!

Lupita the Guilt-Ridden Doll Thief!!

And everyone's favorite mewling neurotic windbag, Old Pitch the Devil!

Just when I think Rene Cardona's Santa Claus can't mess with my mind anymore, it sticks a (pitch)fork in and twists it again. Come join Ye Olde Schlockologist for the Most Astonishing Christmas Film Ever Made, tonight at 7:30!!

Bikes! Babes! Brawls! Rock! Bizarro Bikesploitation Night, Tomorrow!

2011-11-04T13:45:00.000-07:00

Yes, Fiends and Neighbors, another Bizarro Movie Night awaits tomorrow at the ever-lovin' Aster Coffee Lounge. And Ye Olde Schlockologist will turn his nerd-laser focus on that beloved sub-genre known as The Biker Flick!

In the 1954 drama The Wild One, a girl asks motorcycle rebel Johnny (Marlon Brando), "What're you rebelling against?" His reply: "Whadda ya got?"

It was a pop-culture shot heard 'round the world, and youth-in-rebellion movies gradually built momentum throughout the 1950s with Juvenile Delinquency flicks like Hot-Rod Gang and High School Confidential. But it took B-movie Godfather Roger Corman to hurtle motorcycle gangs solidly into the mix with his 1966 exploitation classic, The Wild Angels. For years after, cinemas and drive-ins were filled with the din of roaring Harleys, and the Bacchanalian exploits of the Hell's Angels and myriad other cycle gangs (real and fictional).

For tomorrow's Bizarro festivities, we hope to unspool some great JD/bikesploitation trailers and one hell of a rip-roaring feature. The latter's still being determined, but we're 99% sure it'll involve souped-up hogs, Big Bill Smith, rocket launchers, machine guns, Paul Koslo, and lots of things blowing up. And it may or may not've been covered in this electronic Den of Iniquity before...

Be there at 8pm, Daddy-O!

At long last, Bizarro Movie Night RETURNS!!

2011-10-01T17:03:00.000-07:00

Yes, Fiends and Neighbors, Bizarro Movie Night is back at the lovely Aster Coffee Lounge in Ballard! Tonight, we'll explore the demented, rattletrap wonder that is Turkish pop cinema.

The film industry in Turkey exploded in the 1960's, and for twenty years it delivered action, scares, thrills, titillation, and flat-out dementia to the thrill-seeking masses in its native land. Before that hideous jabbering box known as television homogenized and squashed the collective consciousness, Turkey's film industry burst at the seams with science fiction, horror, leering sex comedies, and double-barrelled action; all delivered with rattletrap energy and a distinctive flair that filtered Western pop culture through its own skewed and gloriously exotic lens.

Oftentimes, that filter outright caught undigested clumps of influences. The country's filmmakers pumped up plots straight out of old action serials with vivid color and eye-popping sex and violence; lifted plots wholesale from US sources (you haven't lived until you've seen the Turkish riffs on E.T, Superman, and The Exorcist); and in some cases even pilfered scenes wholesale (The Men Who Saved the World, Turkey's incarnation of Star Wars, is plastered with actual clips from George Lucas's film--copyright laws be DAMNED!).

Ye Olde Schlockologist will be on hand to give you the straight skinny on the Turkish film industry, and to present one of the wildest and wooliest examples of Turkish cinema taffy to your unsuspecting eyes!

Rest assured, you'll not want to miss it! And be ready for more to come in the coming months!

Goodbye to Michael Gough, Bizarro-Worthy Character-Acting God

2011-03-19T15:59:00.000-07:00

The Bizarro Freak flag flies at half-mast in honor of actor Michael Gough, who passed away at age 94 on St. Patrick's Day.

Gough's most high-profile role was that of Alfred the butler, Bruce Wayne's avuncular and paternal Man Friday, in the 1990's Batman movies. And with all due respect to Michael Caine, Gough captured that character's combination of old-school English elegance and mischief more artfully than anyone. Even when Joel Schumacher reduced the franchise to a jackhammer-paced, stunt-casted, empty-headed series of eyesores, the venerable actor always classed up the joint (or, more appropriately, the Batcave). Gough also lent solid supporting work in some truly great films over the years, including Out of Africa and the affecting British drama, The Dresser.

But for Ye Olde's money, Gough's finest moments onscreen were in the many horror films he graced from the 1950's through the 1970's. For a good couple of decades, he rivalled the great Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee as a presence in British thrillers, playing villains with welcome versatility. He could chew the scenery with over-the-top Vincent-Price-ian relish one minute; then deliver characters of icy-cold, quietly terrifying malevolence the next. Farewell, dear Mr. Gough: You knew how to chill the world to the bone.

Officially-Bizarro-Worthy Michael Gough:

Horror of Dracula (1958): Gough's solid work in this classic Hammer chiller makes the throwaway character of Arthur Holmwood, skeptical sibling of vampire-bait Mina Holmwood, believeable and sympathetic.

Horrors of the Black Museum (1959): Gough, in sublime form, plays a mystery writer prone to re-enacting some of his most gruesome written murders for reals in this deliciously nasty British shocker.

Konga (1961): Sleazy villains don't come any more heartless and cut-throat than Gough's mutant-gorilla-wrangling Dr. Decker in this ridiculous (and extremely entertaining) Herman Cohen B-flick.

Phantom of the Opera (1962): I've always been fond of Hammer's unfairly-ignored redux of the old Gaston LeRoux chestnut (go here for a more detailed assessment of the movie), in no small part due to Michael Gough's perfectly-realized and thoroughly chilling Ambrose D'Arcy, an impressario who robs artists, crushes careers, and attempts murder with disdainful and disarming ease.

Dr. Terror's House of Horrors (1965): In one of the greatest anthology horror movies ever, Gough plays a tortured artist driven to suicide by the cutting derision of (and accidental mutilation by) art critic Christopher Lee. It's an affecting performance perfectly in keeping with the film's pulp-horror nightmare archetypes.

Horror Hospital (1973): In one of the most absurd and trashy exploitation movies of the Bell-Bottom Era, Gough sinks his teeth--ravenously--into the role of Dr. Christian Storm, a thoroughly nutty medico fond of hacking up victims, in the name of crazed mind-control experiments. Bonus points for the sedan with the attached head-lopping blade.

Sleepy Hollow (1999): Tim Burton earned major Bizarro props for reviving Michael Gough's career when he hired the actor to play Alfred in the 1989 Batman. Burton also utilized Gough's distinctive voice as the Dodo in Alice in Wonderland, and as Elder Gutknecht in Corpse Bride. Sleepy Hollow marks one of Gough's last onscreen appearances, and in his brief moment on camera he plays grizzled Notary Hardenbrook with pitch-perfect geezerly crustiness.

Schlockologist's Factoid-Crammed Skull Profiled in Seattle Weekly!

2011-02-02T02:09:00.000-08:00

Hola, Fiends and Neighbors! Ye Olde Schlockologist has been pummelled upside the melon in recent weeks by that beloved but pesky day job and various irons in the fire. But if you're jonesing for a Bizarro Binge, Ye Olde is in negotiations with the awesome folks at the lovely Aster Coffee Lounge for another Bizarro Movie Night; or more appropriately, a Bizarro Movie Festival! Stay Tuned...

Meantime, in other news, one of the many irons brandished in Chez Bizarro's furnace has been Tuesday Night Trivia at the Bourbon Bar in Columbia City Theater. It's been a blast; fun-loving crowds of regulars, masterfully-mixed cheap drinks, bar food par excellance prepared by a phenomenal chef, and a definitive excuse to empty out some of the useless trivia crammed in my head for fun and profit (or at least a couple of extra bucks).

And the word's been getting around to all sorts of places; most recently the Seattle Weekly, which highlighted Bourbon Bar's Tuesday Night Trivia on its blog. Go here for all the details. And while you're at it, you can check us out on Facebook, right about here.

'Til again, Fiends and Neighbors!

Beat the Bizarro Movie Night Hiatus Blues with...Tuesday Trivia Night with Tony Kay!

2010-11-13T01:50:00.000-08:00

Buenos Whatever, Fiends and Neighbors!

While we're still in Bizarro Hiatus, Ye Olde Schlockologist has been spending Tuesday nights regaling the throngs in Columbia City with Trivia Nights, Tuesdays at the Bourbon Bar in Columbia City!

If you've been hankering for those obscuro factoids and that witty banter you've grown to know and love from Bizarro Movie Night, head down to the Bourbon Bar at Columbia City Theater every Tuesday at 8pm for a hearty helping of both! We've done four of these already, to an enthusiastic audience. This ain't your mama's lame canned-from-the-web trivia monotony, Fiends and Neighbors: This is (mostly) yours truly pulling as much stuff from the dank recesses of his own trivia-saturated mind as possible, giving local crowds a chance to flex their smarts (or at least learn a little somethin' about darn near everythin'!).

So far we've covered Rock and Roll, Horror Movies (for Halloween), and two weeks of The Big 1980's. Next up, two weeks' worth of Movie Trivia!

Admission's free, and it's all-night Happy Hour with many tasty beverages, so get your tushes down to Columbia City next week, for Pete's Sake!

More Details on the Epic Bizarro Garage Sale!

2010-09-22T22:54:00.000-07:00

"Me find neat things at Garage Sale..."

OK, Fiends and Neighbors--More details on this Saturday's Bizarro Garage Sale! It's gonna be a doozy! Don't miss it.

Again, it's this Saturday, September 25, from 8am to 3pm! The location is 10835 Forest Ave S, Seattle WA 98178. Enclosed is a Mapquest map from Seattle proper to the Bizarro Garage Sale:

I've also included written directions below. The written ones deviate from Mapquest, so take whichever route will work for you! There will be obnoxious neon green signs marking the way from Rainier Ave S. And spread the word if you know someone looking to purchase:

Vintage/Weird Vinyl!
Rare/Out-of-Print VHS!
Gently-Used Clothes!
Books Galore!
And More, More, MORE, for Cheap, Cheap, CHEAP!!!

We've got a lot of stuff that's ready to go!

How to get to the Garage Sale...

*From I-5 Northbound take exit 157, Martin Luther King Way. Take a right on Boeing Access Road.
*Boeing Access Road turns into S Ryan Way.
*Follow S. Ryan Way to 51st Ave S.
*Take a Left on 51st Ave S.
*Follow 51st to Rainier Ave S. Take a right on Rainier Ave S.
*Follow Rainier Ave S about 1.5 Miles to 75th Ave S.
*Take a Right on 75th Ave S; one block up, you'll hit S Taft Street.
*Take a Left on S Taft; follow Taft, and it'll curve around and turn into Crestwood Dr. S.
*Stay on Crestwood. You'll pass Laurel Street, then you'll come to a Y in the road to your left.
*Take the sharpest left of that Y: Forest Ave S
*Follow Forest Ave S about two blocks. Just past Rowan, you should hit 10835 Forest Ave S. It's on the right side of the road, white house at the top of a set of cement steps. The garage is past the long driveway, just below the patio.

*From I-5 Southbound, take exit 158, the Boeing Access Road. Take a left onto Boeing Access Road. Then, the rest is the same as above.

See you there!

The ULTIMATE BIZARRO GARAGE SALE!! Saturday September 25!!!

2010-09-19T18:57:00.000-07:00

Yes, Fiends and Neighbors, you read right...Ye Olde Schlockologist will be hosting a yard sale on Saturday, September 25 from 8am to 3pm!! Rain or shine!! Prepare to have your minds blown with shock and awe!!

This printer works. And it's CHEAP, people.

Like any garage sale worth its salt, we'll be selling many nice, gently-used clothes for men and women; various electronic items (including an HP Photosmart 3210X1 printer/fax and a TEAC vinyl turntable); all sorts of bric-a-brac and knick-knacks (cups/mugs, stuffed animals, etc.).

But we'll also be busting out some amazing pop-culture memorabilia and ephemera--the results of three decades of pop-culture pack-ratting!!

Among the items on sale:

Mucho Out-of-Print VINYL LP's: Collect obscure disco records from the 1970's? Vintage Christian pop LP's (replete with crazy covers) from that same decade? Classic pop and rock? Kid's records? Yep, we'll be selling all of those, and more! A few are even autographed...And keep an eye out for some out-of-print audio cassettes for peanuts, too!

BOOKS! Hardcover and softcover; fiction and non-fiction. We'll have a little bit of everything: pulp, bestsellers, horror/sci-fi, history, film and TV reference, classic literature, and (yeah) more! Again, a few are autographed...

MONSTER MAGAZINES: Ever wonder how Ye Olde Schlockologist learned about his favorite varieties of schlock before the dawn of the ol' internets? Why, via magazines like FILMFAX, Video Watchdog, and Famous Monsters of Filmland, that's how! And he's selling some of these great magazines--packed with informative interviews, nifty photos, and delicious content--for dirt cheap!

Pick up the Hammer, whoa-OH!

TOYS: Vintage boardgames; a genuine Kenner Yoda hand-puppet; an American Godzilla that roars; action figures; Lindsay-Lohan-in-a-box; an MC Hammer doll; a New Kids on the Block stuffed toy; a lovely Walt Disney Christmas Ornament set; a really old Marx toy train set; and much, much more!

VHS AND DVD: We'll have a ton of out-of-print and obscure VHS stuff--horror and sci-fi, and all sorts of exploitation/Bizarro-worthy curios! And DVDs, to boot!

Buy me at garage sale, you will.

VARIOUS BITS OF POP CULTURE WEIRDNESS/MEMORABILIA: How about some charming Nelson (that'd be the eighties' hair metal band, fiends and neighbors!) earrings? Or a Shaun Cassidy or Wayne Newton pendant? Or maybe some well-worn but real cool posters, lobby cards, or stills?

Nelson Jewelry? Hells, YEAH!

Feel free to email Ye Olde Schlockologist if you've got any questions. More details (address, directions, etc.) are forthcoming, so stay TUNED!!

Massage Chair--and it WORKS!

News Flash!! Doctor of Schlockology takes Summer Schlock Semester Off!!

2010-07-19T23:00:00.000-07:00

Hello again, Fiends and Neighbors! A hearty thanks to the enthusiastic crowd that attended June's BMN! Inimitable schlockology disertations! Cleopatra Jones thwarting a homicidal lesbian drug czarina, kicking ass, and taking names to the delight of several regulars and a pack of newbies! If you missed it, there's no hope for you...and you won't get another chance to drink deep from the Well of Strange Cinema until the fall!

That's right, kids: Bizarro Movie Night's in the middle of a summer hiatus. Said respite's giving Yours Schlockily a chance to catch up on the many writing plates he's got spinning in the air at present. We'll still try to sprinkle this here Blog with Bizarro-worthy recommendations and news. But come fall, we're planning to really bust out future surprises that'll blow the tops of your crazed heads off!! That means:

More Movies!!

More Insanity!!

More Monsters!!

More Bikini Babes!!

More Rock and Roll!!

More Bikers!!

Much more from Guest Co-Host, Lucha Legend El Serpiente de Oro!!

And

imminent

world

conquest!!!

Seriously, folks, BMN is planning on some major shenanigans soon! You'll detest yerself if you miss it!

Stay Tuned...

A Blaxploitation Cocktail to get you in the mood for tomorrow's BMN!

2010-06-24T20:44:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow night, Ye Olde Schlockologist will celebrate the most bad-assed sub-genre in American Cinema with an educational discourse on Blaxploitation--and spiffy visual aids to boot! Enclosed please find a couple of things to get you into the mood:

The trailer for the Pam Grier vehicle, Foxy Brown:

...and the thoroughly awesome Blacula:

For follow-up study (and a couple of token plugs):

Two key figures in black cinema passed away in the last couple of years. They led interesting lives, and made invaluable contributions to Bizarro cinema. You can read about Tamara Dobson (Cleopatra Jones herself) with a click here; and Isaac Hayes (the God behind the Shaft soundtrack, and the title character in the film Truck Turner) by clicking here.

Last but not least, the man widely credited with starting the entire 'Blaxploitation' revolution in the 1970's was writer/director Melvin van Peebles. An interview--and detailed overview of van Peebles' life and career--can be accessed by clicking here.

Be at the Aster tomorrow, Fiends, Neighbors, and Suckas!

Next Bizarro Movie Night: Friday June 25

2010-06-20T15:02:00.000-07:00

Hello, Fiends and Neighbors! The finest Cinema Appreciation Educational series in Ballard is returning this Friday!

Apologies for the lack of Bizarro-ness of late: Ye Olde Schlockologist has been up to his chin in SIFF film coverage, all of which can be seen at the SunBreak.com (the most Bizarro-worthy bits would probably be--pimpery alert--the interview with giallo-horror-art film Amer's directors Bruno Forzani and Helene Cattet, and the soon-to-be-posted interview with the director and star of Ticked Off Trannies with Knives!)

But the big, immediate news is this Friday's Bizarro-palooza, an educational treatise on Urban Action Cinema of the 1970's (that'd be Blaxploitation, brothers and sisters). Ye Olde Schlockologist's lecture on this cinematic movement will be followed by an educational screening of one of the finest examples of the genre.

More on this most bad-assed of cinema muthas (shut your mouth) in the coming days. BE THERE!

Ballard Goes Bizarro Once More! Sex, Sin, Vice, Drugs...and Snacks!!

2010-05-01T01:39:00.000-07:00

Well, Fiends and Neighbors, are you ready for another round of Bizarro Good Times? You darn well better be!

Big news on the Aster Coffee Lounge front! Bizarro Movie Night's fab benefactor has added caramel walnut and peanut butter brownies to their snacking repertoire! AND you can still get a damn fine coffee or chai tea latte, AND tasty beers, wines, and other snacks. Speaking of which...

Not only will we be busting out some prime Dwain Esper dementia, Your Schlockologist Truly and the Bizarro Movie Night Promo Team will be busting out commemorative Bizarro Movie Night SNACKS as a special tie-in with tomorrow night's double-bill!

C'mon. You know you want a bag.

Be there, Fiends and Neighbors!

Sin, Vice, Drugs, Skinnydipping, and Serpiente!! All at the next Bizarro Movie Night!!

2010-04-25T13:54:00.000-07:00

You heard it right, Fiends and Neighbors! The next BMN is May 1, Saturday night! And it's gonna be a lulu...An Orgy of Decadence, Despair, Drugs, and SKINNYDIPPING, Roadshow Grindhouse-style.

We'll be paying tribute to con-man/warped auteur Dwain Esper, a man who inflicted some of the strangest and seediest films known to man on an unsuspecting and titillation-starved Depression-era public--all under the guise of cautionary tales to rescue the Youth of our Nation from the dangers of, well, damned near everything!!

Admission's still free, and it's official: El Serpiente de Oro will be guest-hosting! Buckle up your seatbelts for a wild and warped ride!

Ready to Rock and Roll, Fiends and Neighbors??!

2010-04-13T22:11:00.000-07:00

Hope so! That's what we wanna hear! In case you haven't gotten the word already, as a special tribute to Record Store Day, Bizarro Movie Night's going all Rock and Roll on Saturday!

Ye Olde Schlockologist has finally decided the programming for this Saturday's Bizarro-riffic presentation at the Aster Coffee Lounge, and you won't be disappointed, cats and kittens. We'll be throwing down the 1962 B-movie classic, WILD GUITAR!

The Beatles? Bah! Elvis? PfFFT! We've got Arch Hall Jr, the man with the sweetest blonde pompadour on the planet, busting out rockabilly jewels and clawing his way to the top of the Rock and Roll heap!! If you haven't seen the full-length version of this twist-fevered classic, you HAVEN'T LIVED, Fiends and Neighbors. Period.

Be there or be L7!

News Flash!! Next TWO Bizarro Movie Nights Scheduled!!

2010-04-09T14:00:00.000-07:00

Hello again, Fiends and Neighbors! Facebook invites have gone out for it, but the next Bizarro Movie Night is officially scheduled for:

Saturday April 17!!

Yes, the wonderful world of Weird Cinema will return to the Aster Coffee Lounge a week from Saturday!!

In the interest of presenting an all-encompassing Whitman's Sampler of Strange, we're going to set next week's Bizarro Movie Night to a rock and roll backbeat! Yes, the next BMN will cater to that primal beat that'll yank you out of your seat! Exact details are still being plotted out, but a couple of things are for certain, Daddy-O:

1) There will be Rock and Roll!

2) There will be FABULOUS DOOR PRIZES!!

3) There will be patter so snappy that Chuck Berry could duckwalk to it!!

Just to get your juices flowing, Fiends and Neighbors, here's a little snifter of random rockin' to set the mood...

Oh, and then April showers will bring May flowers--AND yet another Bizarro Movie Night at the Aster on Saturday May 1!! Mark yer calendars!

Ye Olde Schlockologist is planning on a spectacular spring and summer, so stick around, Daddy-O!

HIghlights from the March 20 Bizarro Movie Night!

2010-03-28T11:48:00.000-07:00

Hello again, Fiends and Neighbors--

Thanks to all of you who made the last BMN the fun time it was! Those of you poor pathetic souls who, through some hideous miscarriage of God and nature, did not make it to witness the mayhem missed out on:

A super-special big-screen exhibition of El Serpiente de Oro and the Temple of Geek, with a customarily robust introduction from the film's star, legendary luchador El Serpiente de Oro!

All of the gory details on El Serpiente's encounter with the evil villano, Baron Birkenstock!

...And of course, the movie. Not just any movie, either, Fiends and Neighbors! We screened Attack of the Monsters, in which two little boys get abducted by a remote-control spaceship, flown to a far-off planet, and terrorized by a knife-blade-headed lizard and the two brain-eating Japanese space babes in tights who keep him on a leash. And it's a kid's film...

I'm feeling a little rock-and-roll coming on for the next one, folks. Stay tuned for more, more, more details in the days and weeks ahead! And thanks for continuing to support Bizarro Movie Night!!

Hey, Kids! Tonight's Bizarro Movie Night! And We've Got a Big-Screen Premiere!

2010-03-20T13:12:00.000-07:00

Welcome back, Fiends and Neighbors! Updates, updates galore in Bizarro-Land...

Ye Olde Schlockologist recently interviewed film director/Seattle International Film Festival co-founder Dan Ireland for the SunBreak.com (check out part 1 here). Ireland's first feature, the wonderful The Whole Wide World, is only Bizarro in the most tangential of fashions (it's a subtle drama detailing the romance between Bizarro-worthy pulp author Robert E. Howard and schoolteacher Novalyne Price), but the director had a lot of interesting insights about the making of the film, and he did cover his years as a producer of films for Vestron Pictures. The latter gig included, ahem, some seriously Bizarro-Worthy movies...So don't be surprised if some of his choice stories about movies like Gothic and Lair of the White Worm make their way into this here Bizarro epicenter!

But the most pressing bit of news, natch, is the impending arrival of another Bizarro Movie Night! Tonight at 8pm, the Aster will be hosting yet another leap straight down the rabbit hole of strange cinema, and your host will once again be El Serpiente de Oro, 42nd Greatest Luchador of All Time! Tonight's movie will feature:

Remote-control spaceships!

Fire-breathing giant turtles!

Brain-eating Japanese space babes in tights!

And it's a kid's film!

But wait! There's MORE! Tonight's Bizarro Movie Night will feature a special Big-Screen Screening of El Serpiente and the Temple of Geek, the inspiring documentary on El Serpiente's visit to last week's Emerald City ComiCon! Brilliantly directed and edited by Serpiente's former tag-team amigo Ninja Pantera (Bob Suh), Temple of Geek marks the veteran grappler's first onscreen appearance since 1985's El Serpiente de Oro Against the Soccer Vampires! Sure, you can watch Temple of Geek on your computer, but why just do that??! It'd be like just watching Avatar on YouTube (though admittedly less butt-numbingly cliched) and never seeing it on a big-ass screen!

As a special treat to all you loyal fiends and neighbors, here's a glimpse at a deleted scene from Temple of Geek, in which El Serpiente encounters a Magnificent Moustache and preaches the BMN Gospel!!

See you tonight, kids!!

Bizarro Movie Night TOMORROW NIGHT!!

2010-03-19T07:42:00.000-07:00

Hello again, Fiends and Neighbors!

Tomorrow night, Bizarro Movie Night is unleashed once more on an unsuspecting public. And once again, said slab of cinematic dementia will be presented by guest host El Serpiente de Oro, 42nd greatest Luchador in Mexican history!

Serpiente did his part to spread the BMN gospel by vigorously flyer-ing the Emerald City ComiCon last week, and interviewing numerous luminaries at the Con. We're prepping a lengthier video of the mayhem, but for now, enjoy this YouTube interview with the Woman of Steel--Supergirl.

And BE AT THE ASTER COFFEE LOUNGE TOMORROW NIGHT, Fiends and Neighbors!

El Serpiente de Oro Takes Emerald City ComiCon in a Cage Match!

2010-03-17T01:40:00.000-07:00

Fiends y neighbors, I painted the Emerald City Comic Con a bright shade of rojo last Saturday, visiting many celebrities, heroes, heroines, and monsters as Ambassador of Schlockology to Bizarro Movie Night.

My close amigo Ninja Pantera captured many memorable convention moments on film. Until those clips are thrown into the ring and beaten into edited submission, I present this exclusive interview with Supergirl to whet the appetite for Bizarro Movie Night!

My Observations on the Academy Awards

2010-03-08T23:25:00.001-08:00

Amigos y Amigas--

In between subduing bulbous-headed Martians and diffusing a thermonuclear device hidden in the Tupperware Cupcake Storage Container of an old woman a few blocks away, I witnessed the cavalcade of horror and adventure that was the 82nd annual Academy Awards. The ruggedly-handsome Schlockologist who curates this area encouraged me to freely express myself in this forum. I was all over this assignment like white on rice...like nuclear-orange Cheetos dust on Britney Spears' fingers...like back hair on Alec Baldwin.

Please find my thoughts on this strange ritual known as Oscar, below...

Next Bizarro Movie Night! March 20!! Be There!

2010-03-08T23:24:00.000-08:00

Hello, Fiends and Neighbors!

News Flash! The next Bizarro Movie Night will be on Saturday March 20, at the usual hideout--The Aster Coffee Lounge in Ballard, land of mystery and danger! What will Ye Olde Schlockologist bust out for the next screening?

You'll just have to be there!

Ye Olde Schlockologist Meets the Czar of Noir, Talks Grindhouse Sleaze!

2010-03-05T19:34:00.000-08:00

Hello again, Fiends and Neighbors! It's been a whirlwind couple a weeks for Ye Olde Schlockologist in general and Bizarro Movie Night in particular. Thank God for the dauntless Serpiente de Oro, who capably MC'ed the most recent BMN at Aster Coffee Lounge on February 20.

So what was yours truly doing on that tumultuous Saturday while the 42nd Greatest Luchador in Mexican History brought down the (Aster Coffee) House? Why, chatting up the preeminent authority on/champion of Film Noir himself, Eddie Muller, that's what.

The Magnificent Mr. M is the engine behind the locomotive that is the Noir City Festival, which came through Seattle less than two weeks ago (feel free to read the bulk of my interview for the SunBreak here and here, if'n you're so inclined).

But in addition to his tireless efforts on behalf of all things Noir, Eddie Muller's also accumulated some seriously Bizarro-worthy street cred chronicling the exploitation and sexploitation film genres. His 1996 book Grindhouse: The Forbidden Story of "Adults Only" Cinema helped pave the way to serious academic appraisal of the exploitation genre, and he co-wrote and co-produced Mau Mau Sex Sex, a documentary on exploitation kings David Friedman and Dave Sonney.

My chat with Eddie spanned two solidly-entertaining hours, and there was no way I could include every bon mot and anecdote he tossed my way in the SunBreak interview. In addition to thoroughly covering Film Noir's many faces that afternoon, he also explained the breach-birth of his Grindhouse book in vivid and amusing detail, offered some insights on the genre, and even played six degrees of separation between an Oscar nominee and a former Teen-Idol turned cinematic psycho-killer. And all of those choice tidbits surely merit electronic preservation. Consider this the Deleted/Extended Scenes portion of the SunBreak Eddie Muller interview.

********************************************************************************

I'm a big fan of vintage Grindhouse Cinema, so I wanted to cover your Grindhouse book. Could you describe the genesis of that project? It's full of so many great posters and stills and promo stuff from another halcyon era of moviemaking that's very interesting...

Well, you hit on the genesis of the book right there...It was the posters and the stills and the lobby cards and all that. I found a treasure trove of stuff in an old porno theater in San Francisco on Market Street--the Center Theater. And I had a friend who was in the Projectionists' Union, back when that meant something. He said, "You oughta come down here. And bring your mother's car [laughs]. This was a long time ago. I asked why, and he says, "The one with the big trunk."

Sure enough, this was a four-story building in San Francisco; the ground floor was the Center Theater. And what I learned was that this building was Sleaze Central for the sexploitation film business on the west coast in the thirties and forties. The offices were above the theater, and then there was a big party room--what we'd call a Rumpus Room--above that, and then storage stuff. It was amazing. And downstairs was like something out of a David Lynch film. And you [took this] rickety old elevator down there. The floors were all soaking-wet, and one room was filled with chairs, floor to ceiling. You couldn't move in that room because the chairs had been put in, in such a way that it was impossible to get in. But there were all these posters and lobby cards and everything. That was when I first practiced urban archaeology, i.e., theft [laughs]! And we just stole all this stuff out of the basement.

Lo and behold later on, I start researching this, and I meet these guys [who made these movies], and they talk about having these offices in San Francisco...And I'm thinking, this is amazing! These guys were actually in the building that I stole all of this stuff from! I tell them that I have a lot of the material, and they're like, "Wow, I wondered what happened to all of that stuff!" So that was the genesis of the Grindhouse book--what is all this stuff? What does it all mean? And now there's a lot more scholarship in that area than there used to be. Eric Schaefer wrote a whole PhD paper on that, called Daring! Bold! Shocking! The History of Exploitation Films, or something like that. Eric did it from a much more academic perspective than I chose to do it in Grindhouse. I think mine sold a few more copies than his, though [laughs]...Show the dirty pictures: Make sure you show the dirty pictures!

I found it interesting when you said in an interview that you got into the Film Noir projects because they showcased movies that you didn't have to fast-forward through...

Oh, yes [laughs]! Man, a lot of those [Grindhouse] movies were just dreadful!

Do any of those Grindhouse features stick out to you as particularly memorable?

There's one called The Agony of Love, with Pat Barrington, that's actually really pretty good. It's a sexploitation version of Belle de Jour. And it's about a housewife who becomes a prostitute. And the movie is actually really good.

Didn't William Rotsler direct that?

Yeah, I think so. You know your stuff. But that film, I really like. I do also like all of those Dave Friedman films, as cheesy as they are. With the older stuff, it's just how goofy they are, like Maniac! and Child Bride. Have you seen Child Bride? It's unBELIEVable. It was a film made in the 1930's about these Appalacians; where these thirteen-year-old girls are sold to these hillbillies: "Why, yer gonna be mah wife!" It's like, oh, my God [laughs]! And there was a nude swimming scene in the movie; of this thirteen-year-old girl swimming in the nude. And I'm thinking, "I am NOT believing what I'm seeing."

On the Exploitation Roots of Oscar-nominated director Curtis Hanson [excerpts of this passage appeared in the SunBreak Interview]:

It's amazing how many bad movies get made from [James] Ellroy's books. L.A. Confidential is the exception. It's really, really good. Curtis Hanson's a really good filmmaker. And he did--what's the Curtis Hanson feature he did early on that's really Film Noir--oh, Bad Influence, with Rob Lowe and James Spader. That's a total Noir.

If you want to know one weird confluence here: You know that I wrote the Tab Hunter autobiography...

Yes...

Did you know that Tab Hunter was the star of Curtis Hanson's first movie?

No...

It was originally called...

No, wait! I remember--Sweet Kill!

Yes! It was originally called A Kiss from Eddie. Then it was called The Sweet Kill. Then Roger Corman said, "We're reissuing this as The Arousers!" It's a psycho movie about a guy who's a sex killer. And the idea that Tab...Understand the brilliance of this, casting a famous Hollywood beefcake icon who is gay, as a man who kills women as soon as they try to be intimate with him. How bizarre is that when you actually know Tab's story?

And that was years before John Waters tweaked Tab's image with Polyester...

Yeah. And Tab doesn't look like Tab at all [in Sweet Kill]--he's got long hair...And it's not a bad film. The last time I saw Curtis Hanson I said, "You know, I wrote all about one of your films," He was like, "Yeah, I read that you wrote all about L.A. Confidential." No, this was The Arousers. He was like, "Oh, my God! You've SEEN that [laughs]??"

Mi Noche de Cine Bizarro Experiencia

2010-02-27T14:40:00.001-08:00

Amigos y Amigas--

My sincerest gratitude to you who attended my debut as guest co-host of Bizarro Movie Night. Ballard is indeed a land of adventure, danger, and excitement...But it is also a land of untold hospitality, as I learned on February 20, 2010.

As Mexico's 42nd Greatest Luchador, my body has seen more abuse than Lindsay Lohan's liver. But my heart has stayed strong, and it was warmed to caliente degrees by your enthusiastic reception, Amigos y Amigas.

El Serpiente de Oro shall return soon!

Guest Co-Host for Bizarro Movie Night??

2010-02-15T01:29:00.000-08:00

You read right, Fiends and Neighbors. Ye Olde Schlockologist will be sharing the reins of the next BMN on Saturday February 20, with a guest co-host! And not just any guest co-host...

We're talking an expert in a highly-revered strata of human experience. That's all I'm gonna say.

Oh, that, and--if there was EVER an unmissable Bizarro Movie Night, it'd be the one coming this Saturday!!

Spread the word! Tell the world to be there, already!

You'll HATE yerself if you ain't amongst the sea of awestruck faces at the Aster!!

Bizarro News--Next Movie Night, and our first Celeb Plug!!

2010-02-07T19:03:00.000-08:00

Mark your calendars, Fiends and Neighbors--The next Bizarro Movie Night will be Saturday, February 20 at the ever-dauntless Aster Coffee Lounge! And if you've been enjoying these little schlock-fests as much as I have, get ready for one that'll blow your mind! Wanna be a Bizarro Facebook Page fan? Hells, YES, you do! Get on ye olde FB and we'll sign you up for the crucials.

And guess what else? Bizarro Movie Night has acquired its FIRST OFFICIAL CELEBRITY ENDORSEMENT!! And it's not from just any mook: It's from exploitation guru and cult director-god Frank Henenlotter! Yes, Fiends and Neighbors, a thumbs-up from the director of Basket Case and the excellent new mind-blower Bad Biology! Looky here...

We're hoping to build up a stockpile of Bizarro Goodness in the days and weeks ahead, so stay tuned to the Facebook page! AND check out our newly-minted Bizarro Movie Night YouTube Channel!

Bizarro-Worthy Reading: The Films of Larry Buchanan by Rob Craig

2010-02-03T00:36:00.000-08:00

Texan Larry Buchanan was a true original: a director whose box-lunch budgets, oddball subject matter, exaltation of female archetypes, and obsession with conspiracy theories of all stripes made him as perfect a textbook demonstration of the auteur theory as Orson Welles or David Lean, for God's sake. Author Rob Craig puts forth these arguments with eloquence and academic sharpness to spare in The Films of Larry Buchanan, his exhaustive critical examination of Buchanan's oeuvre.

Buchanan dabbled in several genres throughout his career, but part of his fame came from his revisions of others' work. In the late 1960's American International Pictures commisioned the director to helm made-for-TV remakes of some of their most successful fifties sci-fi thrillers: The Day the World Ended became The Year 2889; The She Creature spawned Creature of Destruction; and Invasion of the Saucer Men begat The Eye Creatures, among others. These movies featured B-movie actors like John Agar, John Ashley, and Francine York, and served as Bizarro comfort food for bored kids back in the day. Viewed with a jaundiced modern eye, the results prove almost minimalist in their sparsity, frequently funny as hell, and strangely fascinating.

The director also expressed a distrust of political and social authority to rival Costa-Gavras, and many of Buchanan's original features explore some truly wild conspiracy theories. He filmed The Trial of Lee Harvey Oswald, a speculative docu-drama in which President John F. Kennedy's alleged assassin survives to face a courtroom, in 1964--decades before Oliver Stone turned his fixated gaze on the Kennedy assassination with JFK in 1991. In Beyond the Doors, the drug-and-alcohol-related deaths of Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, and Jim Morrison are blamed on a government plot to subvert the youth movement of the 1960's. And Buchanan paints the life and controversial death of Marilyn Monroe with sordid brushstrokes in Goodbye, Norma Jean and its 1988 sequel, Goodnight, Sweet Marilyn.

The Films of Larry Buchanan covers every single nook and cranny of Larry Buchanan's career with the kind of magnifying-glass detail normally reserved for the Kurosawas and Fellinis of the world, and that exhaustive approach merits some major props from this corner. Craig (who also helms the throughly awesome Kiddie Matinee website) could occasionally be accused of over-interpreting the films discussed, but his arguments hold water admirably, and it's incredibly refreshing to hear Carl Jung and Ingmar Bergman seamlessly, elegantly cited in the context of movies like Mars Needs Women and Curse of the Swamp Creature. If that treatment of bizarro cinema doesn't make you mightily happy, you've stumbled onto the wrong blog (and the wrong schlockologist) by mistake, Bucky.

As you can likely surmise, Buchanan's body of work is eminently, wonderfully Bizarro-worthy, Fiends and Neighbors. Stay tuned...

It's Bizarro Movie Night--AGAIN!!

2010-01-23T15:32:00.000-08:00

Hey, Fiends and Neighbors! Tonight's the next Bizarro Movie Night at the lovely Aster Coffee Lounge! Be there or be trapezoidal...

Ye Olde Schlockologist has decided on the feature for the evening...And hints are laid all over the latest Bizarro Promo poster...Not to mention the last Blog entry!

Once again, there will be popcorn. Once again, wine and beer will flow. And once again, there'll be...

PRIZES!!

SPIFFY ONES that any rational human would give an EYETOOTH for!!

DON'T MISS IT!!

Bizarro-Worthy Actor: Jason (Herb) Evers

2010-01-20T21:53:00.000-08:00

Even in unmitigated (if entertaining) crap like the Grizzly ripoff Claws, Jason Evers gave solid, committed performances, usually as a handsome but slightly untrustworthy authority figure.

Evers--who died of a heart attack on March 13, 2005 at age 83--enjoyed a forty-some year career, with supporting roles in everything from the John Wayne Vietnam actioner The Green Berets to Escape from the Planet of the Apes to guest shots on dozens of TV series.

But my favorite Jason Evers role, one of his few leads, came in 1962 as Dr. Bill Cortner in The Brain that Wouldn't Die, one of the wildest and most entertaining B flicks of that decade. In it, Dr. Cortner rescues and resuscitates his fiancee's decapitated head after a catastrophic car crash, then searches the Red Light District of his town for a fresh body onto which he can graft his love's disembodied noggin.

The movie packs a potent good time, with everything from a stripper catfight to some shocking-for-the-time gore to a pinheaded giant in the closet (telepathically controlled by the Fiancee's Living Disembodied Head, no less!). It's all ridiculous as hell, but Evers (billed under his given name, Herb Evers) imbues his stock role with aristocratic good looks and a core of believability that subtly turns a lot of mad-scientist cliches on their respective ears. His inquisitive fervor, devotion to (what's left of) his would-be bride, and willingness to do harm to others in the name of science give the movie something really unbelievable; a corroded but definite soul.

Needless to say, The quintessential Evers performance is eminently, stoutly Bizarro Movie Night-worthy...

Next Bizarro Movie Night, Saturday, January 23!!

2010-01-04T21:18:00.000-08:00

You heard it right, Fiends and Neighbors--The next Bizarro Movie Night will be on Saturday January 23, at the ever-dauntless Aster Coffee Lounge in beautiful Ballard!

As to the programming for the FIRST BIZARRO MOVIE NIGHT OF THE NEW DECADE, well, it's still a big fat hairy secret. Will it be:

1950's sci-fi??

1960's Juvenile Delinquency Opus??

A Wild and Woolly Kung-Fu Epic??

Some Super-Fly Blaxploitation Action??

Only one way to find out...Join Ye Olde Schlockologist for food, drink, and dementia at the Aster on Saturday the 23rd!!

Happy Holidays, Fiends and Neighbors...

2009-12-25T10:45:00.000-08:00

...And a heartfelt thanks to all who came out for the first two Bizarro Movie Nights!

Just wait 'til you see what Your Schlockologist Truly has in store for 2010. The Strange has just begun!!!

Photo from the first Aster Bizarro Movie Night, December 5!

2009-12-20T23:11:00.000-08:00

Thanks, Bob Suh, for documenting the first Aster Bizarro Movie Night for posterity. And incidentally, Fiends and Neighbors, that empty chair was MY seat...

Santa Brings Brain Damage AND Goodies to the Aster Coffee Lounge!

2009-12-20T22:56:00.000-08:00

Dear Lord in Silk Jammies, the second Bizarro Movie Night went like gangbusters!

The crowd was even bigger the second time than the first, and choc a bloc with many new faces! Thanks so much to all of you who came.

Here's a brief play-by-play:

1) Demented Christmas incidentals (Santa Claus trailer, crazed old kiddie shorts) played in the background as the throngs indulged in great coffees, tea, beer (the sweet holiday brew was the bomb--thanks, Dan!), the Aster's spiffy hummus plates, and FREE popcorn (thanks, Beth!)!

2) Schlockologist introduced, in traditional sparkling repartee style, the evening's feature: yes, the mighty, mad-as-a-Mexican-Hatter SANTA CLAUS!

3) Said feature unspooled before at least two-dozen sets of disbelieving eyes! In case you don't know the basic synopsis: Santa operates from a City in the Clouds (think Empire Strikes Back on about 20 pesos), employs child labor to do his toy-building dirty work, scores wacky dust from Merlin the Magician, and runs afoul of the most neurotically-mewling devil on the planet. And it's a flippin' KID'S MOVIE...Read a more detailed analysis (provided in part by Ye Olde Schlockologist) at this link on the excellent Kiddie Matinee website...

4) After blowing minds with said feature, Schlockologist held a PRIZE DRAWING, giving away several lovely prizes, including DVD's that turn your TV into a homey, roaring fireplace, Devil Duckies, unsettling figurines of boys with scary eyebrows, and for one lucky attendee--a copy of the most brain-broiling Holiday Double Feature Conceived by Man: SANTA CLAUS and SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS!! On ONE damned DVD!

Expect at least one spiffy prize to be handed out at the next Bizarro Movie Night. Program TBA, but rest assured...It'll be flippin' AMAzing!

Holy Holiday!! Bizarro Movie Night's TONIGHT!!

2009-12-19T15:09:00.000-08:00

Yes, Fiends and Neighbors, Your Schlockologist Truly is bringing you the most weird-assed, lysergic loaf of Cinematic Fruitcake you'll ever dare taste, TONIGHT at the Aster!!

OK, we're so bursting at the seams to finally spill the beans on tonight's program that we'll just throw the trailer for tonight's feature presentation up, right now...

Well, didya watch it? Huh? Just wait 'til you actually see this movie in all its full-length, mind-twisting GLORY, tonight at the Aster!!

Plus added strange attractions (holiday-themed and otherwise) for your entertainment!

AND the Aster serves great hot drinks, beers and wines, and tasty light meals for your enjoyment!

AND you'll be done in plenty of time to hit the road and party hearty afterwards! You're a sucker if you miss it!!

See you there!

Bizarro-Worthy B-Girl: Yvette Vickers

2009-12-15T22:33:00.000-08:00

Some B movie babes, you take home to mom.Yvette Vickers, conversely, is the girl you hop into the hot rod with--the sultry, thrill-seeking, wild-for-kicks vixen who's too much trouble to handle but too smoking-hot to resist.

Vickers appeared in several movies and TV shows in the 1950's and '60's, usually in bit roles (she's got a great cameo in Sunset Boulevard as a giggling blonde on a phone at a party); she posed for Playboy in the late fifties; and she worked the lounge circuit as a pop singer, too. But she amassed a rabid cult following from her work in two low-budget sci-fi classics.

Even horror non-initiates know Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman, the immortal 1958 schlock epic in which despondent and put-upon heiress Nancy Archer (Allison Hayes) grows to giant-size after falling afoul of a UFO. Vickers flat-out steals the movie as gold-digging Honey Parker, hussy on the side to Nancy's husband Harry. Whether she's kittenishly planting one on the jerk even as she goads him into attempting murder, or steaming the windows at Tony's Bar and Cafe in a sexy spitfire dance with the yokel deputy, Honey represents the flip-side of Nancy: She may be the reviled Other Woman, but she knows damn well what she wants.

But Vickers' biggest moment in the B-movie sun--and an eminently Bizarro-Worthy schlock masterwork--came in 1959 with Attack of the Giant Leeches. In it, the aforementioned bloodsuckers rise from an underwater cave (Why? Who the hell cares? GO WITH IT) to liberate hapless locals from their plasma in the Florida Everglades. Vickers plays one of those locals--Liz, the bored and trampy bride of dyspeptic Dave (Bruno VeSota), the local general store owner. Again, Vickers is sex on a stick, traipsing scantily-clad around the swamp environs and enthusiastically jumping into the arms and affections of local stud Cal (Michael Emmet). Of course, the affair ends badly, with Liz and Cal forced to choose between the barrel of Dave's shotgun and a dip in the swamp with something just as lethal and a lot slimier.

It's another blast of a grade B monster-fest, replete with awesomely ridiculous monsters (the giant leeches look like Glad trash bags with octopus suckers plastered all over them), but the best part of Leeches is its richly-pulpy dialogue. Vickers lends slatternly sensuality to her lines, alternately caressing and spitting them out like she's making rough love to them. How apropos, then, that in its most sublime moments Attack of the Giant Leeches resembles nothing more than a sci-fi flick filtered through the senses and sensibilities of Tennessee Williams.

Six More Days 'til Bizarro Movie Night, Holiday Edition!

2009-12-13T09:55:00.000-08:00

You heard right, Fiends and Neighbors. Six more days until Bizarro Movie Night, Holiday Edition, is unleashed!

Did you hear that there'll be prizes? Yup, the Bizarro Movie Night prize committee has broken the bank, and will be giving away free prizes to a few lucky patrons. And trust me, they'll be pips, so arrive early! Set a spell. Have some fine beverages and chow. And get ready for Christmas Capers the likes o' which you've never experienced!!

Holiday Edition of Bizarro Movie Night is a GO!!

2009-12-10T11:14:00.000-08:00

Felicitations, Fiends and Neighbors!

The programming for Bizarro Movie Night 2: The Holiday Edition is confirmed, but in true Christmas fashion, we won't unwrap it 'til that night (Saturday, December 19). For most of you, the content will be a super-secret surprise, but trust Your Schlockologist Truly: It'll be worth it!

See you there!

Bizarro Movie Night a RESOUNDING success!

2009-12-06T23:36:00.000-08:00

The Aster Coffee Lounge was stuffed to near-capacity last night for the first Bizarro Movie Night, and Your Schlockologist Truly had the time of his ever-lovin' life!

On the bill were several vintage movie trailers from the seventies, including spots for such obscurities as Without Warning and Humungous. Then,Ye Olde Schlockologist regaled the audience with a zesty and fun talk on that night's Feature Presentation. The final selection, Fiends and Neighbors? Why, the 1981 Indonesian horror oddity, Mystics in Bali!! And darned if the audience didn't devour it like a disembodied vampire head eating at a fetus buffet. The inaugural BMN'ers roared with laughter, whooped with surprise, and enjoyed free popcorn, courtesy the Aster's proprietor-goddess Beth.

A great time was had by all. Quoth the attendees:

"Thank you for concocting such a fun experience!" Jamie

"It was awesome!" Kathleen

"Man, I woke up vomiting live mice," Michael Van Baker, SunBreak.com

Thanks to everyone who came!

The next Bizarro Movie Night is scheduled for Saturday December 19 at the Aster, and it'll be a super-special HOLIDAY EDITION! There'll be Door Prizes, Fun, More Entertaining Schlockologist Bon Mots, and Holiday Programming so twisted, it'll make Santa Claus Conquers the Martians look like It's a Wonderful Life. Stay tuned...

Don't Miss It, Fiends and Neighbors!!

Incidentally, if you DID happen to miss Mystics in Bali, you silly bunny, here's a taste of that strange cocktail, both in YouTube form, and via Pop Culture Petri Dish's incisive and indispensible analysis.

NEWS FLASH!! Publicity...and POPCORN!

2009-12-03T22:34:00.000-08:00

A little over two days away from Bizarro Movie Night, and the buzz is a'building...!

SunBreak.com contributed a nice piece on Bizarro Movie Night. It's a featured post in their A and E section. Go check it out for a few hints as to Saturday Night's shenanigans...

Another Blog, Bite Seattle, has plugged BMN, too. Check it out!

Yeah, all the PR is good, but it pales in comparison to the announcement that...

THE ASTER WILL BE SERVING POPCORN!!

This comes straight from Aster proprietor Beth, fiends and neighbors! That means that you can enjoy your Bizarro Festivities with the most essential movie snack on the planet, as God intended, along with the tasty beverage of your choice!

Is this gonna be a party or what?

Farewell to a Bizarro-Worthy Icon: Paul Naschy, Actor/Writer/Director/Horror Legend

2009-12-02T23:47:00.000-08:00

The Bizarro-Worthy Freak Flag flies at half-mast tonight, in homage to Spanish terror icon Paul Naschy, who passed away from cancer on Tuesday, December 1.

Naschy fell in love with horror films at an early age and parlayed that passion for the macabre into a career that lasted four decades. He's not a household name here in the US, but in Europe he's (rightfully) acknowledged as an influential and legendary figure, and an honest-to-God horror legend.

Naschy's films were comfort food to me as a kid, when edited versions showed up on late-night TV creature-features. Their odd weld of old-school gothic atmosphere and contemporary carnage--and Naschy's committed performances as melancholy werewolf Valdemar Daninsky--made a strong impression that's lived on to this day. I had the great good fortune of meeting the man just two years ago, and in person he was as gracious (and grateful) a man as ever walked the earth.

I covered Naschy's life and career in greater detail over at Pop Culture Petri Dish for 2007's Horrorpalooza; feel free to peruse the entry if you'd like to know more about this man's work.

Adiós, Maestro de lo Macabro.

Bizarro-Worthy Movie: The Losers (1970)

2009-12-01T00:20:00.000-08:00

The Biker Flick emerged as one of the staples of drive-ins and grindhouses of the 1960's and '70's. Born from the leather-clad loins of the Marlon Brando vehicle, The Wild One, in 1953, Biker Flicks followed the exploits of Hell's Angels (or variant cycle gangs) as they terrorized unsuspecting members of 'straight' society.

Roger Corman, exploitation visionary that he was, ushered in the peak years of the Biker Flick with his 1966 opus, The Wild Angels. It made actor Peter Fonda a counter-culture hero and made a mint. Corman--and hordes of other independent moviemakers--soon saturated movie screens with roaring hogs, drug-and-alcohol-fueled decadence, action, violence, and sex.

Like a lot of B-movie genres, The Biker Flick mutated as the years rolled by, offering up Undead Bikers (Psychomania), African-American Bikers (The Black Angels), Werewolf Bikers (Werewolves on Wheels), and even Alternative-Lifestyle bikers (The Pink Angels) before the genre died out in the mid-1970's.

The Losers stands as a high point of the genre. It's essentially The Dirty Dozen gone Hell's Angels, as a small team of condemned bikers heads to Viet Nam to execute a suicide mission against the Cong. Director Jack Starrett (a former stunt man himself) knows his way around on-screen ass-kicking, and he wastes no time hurtling the audience into the action. Starrett even sneaks a little bit of social conscience and pathos in, all without tarnishing the movie's steel cajones.

William "Big Bill" Smith portrays the gang's leader. More than any other actor, Smith was the Face of The Biker Flick. Rugged, tough as nails, muscular, and ferociously charismatic, he showed up in several Cycle Epics, usually playing the heavy. He played Conan's dad in 1982's Conan the Barbarian, and in less than five minutes of screen time made Schwarzenegger look like the Pilsbury frickin' Doughboy. If Big Bill Smith is not the baddest bad-ass in the movie firmament, he's sure in the Top Eight (Ye Olde Schlockologist had the good fortune of meeting him a few years back, and lived to tell the tale here).

Darned if The Losers wouldn't make for a great Bizarro Movie Night...But will it show up this Saturday??

It's ALIVE!! (The Aster's Big Screen, That Is!)

2009-11-30T23:03:00.000-08:00

My eyes are looking about like this right now...

Quick update, Fiends and Neighbors--

Your Schlockologist Truly took the Aster's projection TV set-up through the ringer, subjecting it to everything from sword-and-sandal epics to biker bacchanalia to Japanese monsters to Mexican Kiddie Flicks. The screen looks lovely, and can be viewed from darn near anywhere in the Aster comfortably.

As to precisely what's going to play on that magnificent screen, the Bizarro Movie Night Approval Committee of One (me) is still determining what odd cinematic treasure will be offered to the unsuspecting throngs! Stay TUNED!!

Bizarro-Worthy Cinema: Goke, Bodysnatcher from Hell

2009-11-29T22:31:00.000-08:00

Japanese horror did not begin with (to paraphrase director Adam Green) wet Japanese kids. Nor does all of Japanese fantastic cinema begin and end with men in rubber monster suits (sublime as they may be).

Case in Point: This chilling 1969 nightmare of a horror flick. It starts off with the pulpy purpose of a vintage yakuza thriller, as a gallery of jaded, cynical, and flawed characters interact on a long flight. Then one passenger--a white-suited crook in shades--hijacks the plane, and the feces hits the fan.

The plane crashes near a UFO, and the spacecraft's occupant infects one of the survivors. From then on in, Darwinism kicks in, and the horror proves to have tendrils (OK, invasive puddles of silver ooze) that extend well beyond the crash site.

Yeah, some of the histrionics may induce titters, but it's an intense fever-dream of a chiller all the way. It's packed with more nihilism than John Carpenter's The Thing, levels a pointed cry of anger at the Vietnam war, and serves up some ickily-effective (if primitive) make-up magic. I loved it so much that it made the Pop Culture Petri Dish Horrorpalooza All-Time Top 50 a couple of years back. And since it's never seen an official domestic DVD release, you ain't gonna see it on Netflix any time soon.

But maybe, just maybe, you might see it on a Bizarro Movie Night...

Meantime, enjoy the Japanese language trailer, courtesy of YouTube.

Six More Days 'til Bizarro Movie Night: And ALL Lame Excuses for Not Showing Up, REBUTTED!

2009-11-29T13:20:00.000-08:00

Yep, indeedy, kids. Only six more days 'til Your Schlockologist Truly unleashes Bizarro Movie Night on the semi-unsuspecting Aster Coffee Lounge! And I hope--no, I KNOW--you're as pumped for it as I am.

If, through some anomaly of God and nature, you're still on the fence about attending this Shindig, the Bizarro Movie Night Rebuttal Team has prepared a series of Lame Excuses, and Commensurate Rebuttals...

Lame Excuse 1: "I only watch movies featuring Mexican Wrestlers/zombies/bikers/sword-wielding-talking-animals/Bruce Lee imitators while drinking alcohol!"

Guess what? The Aster has a lovely selection of beers and wines to choose from! The friendly staff (or your friendly Schlockologist) will be only too happy to recommend liquid refreshment--alcoholic or non!

Lame Excuse 2: "This is Seattle! I'm going to see a rock show at (insert local music venue here) that night..."

Bizarro Movie Night starts at a perfectly comfortable hour (8pm), and ends at roughly 10:30pm, thus giving you PLENTY of time to boot-scoot over to see that band you're into. PLUS, you don't have to sit through some lame opening act!

Lame Excuse 3: "I gotta work that night!"

Dear Nose-to-the-Grindstoner, we live in an era fraught with environmental and viral threats, so a Sick Call to the boss is entirely plausible and acceptable. Start rehearsing that hacking cough now. Begin with a few plaintive coughs in front of your boss around Wednesday. Build them in frequency in the ensuing days.

Also, hone your talking-with-a-stuffed-head voice. For example: say this sentence:

"Sorry, my nose is a little stuffed-up from this cold I'm battling!"

...In front of your boss like this:

"Zorry, by doze is a liddle stuvved-ub frub this code Eye'b Baddlig!"

Lame Excuse 4: "I have a life! I'm going to hang out with friends/go to a party that night!"

Hanging out with friends? Hell, BRING 'EM TO THE ASTER! It's comfy and warm; the coffee, tea, wine, and beer are great; and...oh, yeah...this killer Bizarro Movie Night thing's going down!

Going to a party? Everyone knows that all the Cool Kids arrive fashionably late (with cool stories about the Bizarro Movie Night Shenanigans at the Aster). AND again, BMN wraps up in plenty of time for you to paint the town 'til the rooster crows.

Lame Excuse 5: "I don't know anything about the movies this Bizarro Movie Guy's gonna show!"

That's why Your Schlockologist Truly is here, Fiends and Neighbors; to guide you through the turbulent waters of unusual cinema with some background on the films at hand, fun factoids about the people who make and star in 'em, and patter so snappy you'll wanna play a stand-up bass along to it!

Lame Excuse 6: "I live far away, Mr. Schlockologist, sir!"

It IS a Saturday, y'know...Coming from Oregon or California? The drive up Highway 101 is lovely, and flights are more reasonable than ever! From Tacoma or Federal Way? A relatively painless jaunt up north I-5'll get you there! Go here for some informational mappishness...

Lame Excuse 7: "I heard that Ballard's a scary place!"

Those rumors about packs of Marauding Lutefisk-Wielding Muggers and Health-Conscious-Jogger Street Gangs are just that--RUMORS. Ballard is one of the niftiest parts of Seattle you'll visit; and that's saying a lot.

Plus, Bizarro Movie Nights start there in just a few days. How the Hell can you stay away?

Bizarro-Worthy Director: Roger Corman

2009-11-26T23:37:00.000-08:00

'Tis a wonderful world in which the director of Attack of the Crab Monsters can win an Oscar--even if it's only an honorary one.

The legendary Roger Corman won't be collecting his gold statuette at the main ceremony on March 7, 2010--he already received it at the Los Angeles Governor's Ball on November 14--but excerpts of his acceptance speech should make their way to the telecast in March.

Corman's award largely rests on his recruitment of budding cinematic talent--guys like Martin Scorsese and James Cameron, to name a few--but he's also made dozens of extremely entertaining movies of his own. Many of those B flicks--pulpy, great fun, all--would do any Bizarro Movie Night proud.

Jump here for a more detailed rundown of this man's career. And who knows? A Roger Corman classic just may surface for Bizarro Movie Night, Fiends and Neighbors...

The Beginning of an Era: Bizarro Movie Night, Live at the Aster Coffee House December 5!!

2009-11-24T22:40:00.000-08:00

Mark your calendars, Fiends and Neighbors!

Be the first on your block to witness the shrieking birth of the ghastliest, wildest, strangest, and sexiest smorgasbourd of sensationalism ever presented to mortal eyes--a celebration of the oddest, coolest, silliest, and most out-there cinema in existence--all in the warm and inviting setting of one of Seattle's best coffee-and-spirits houses!

Tony Kay--Documentor of Demented Cinema for three (count 'em, THREE!) decades, Architect of Pop Culture Petri Dish's Horrorpalooza, 2005's Ultimate Film Fanatic of the Northwest, B-Movie Evangelist for The SunBreak.com, and Raconteur Extraordinaire--will be waxing rhapsodic on--and showcasing samples of--some of the finest (and weirdest) schlock/cult cinema EVER, for your entertainment and slack-jawed awe, at the Aster Coffee Lounge in scenic Ballard, Washington, beginning in less than two weeks!

Mark your calendars, folks: The first Bizarro Movie Night hits the Aster at 8pm on Saturday, December 5, 2009!

What awaits Brave Visitors to this Den of Dementia, you might ask? Could it be:

MONSTERS??

ZOMBIES??!?!!

OUTLAW BIKERS ON A HELL-BENT ORGY OF BACCHANALIAN DEBAUCHERY, perhaps??

CREEPY GUYS IN MOTH-EATEN ANIMAL SUITS??!?!

Maybe a few...DELINQUENT PUNKS ON A ROCK-AND-ROLL RAMPAGE??!??!

SHE-DEVILS ON HARLEYS??!!?

GRATING KIDDIE-MATINEE SINGALONGS??!??

MORE MONSTERS??!??

BUXOM PISTOL-PACKING DAMES??!!

MASKED WRESTLERS??!??

MANACLE-WHIRLING MUSCLEMEN??!??

Guess you'll have to show up to find out....

Stay tuned for more details. And BE THERE, Pilgrims!!